In the early years of life, communication plays a critical role in the emotional and social development of children. Assertive communication, in particular, is an invaluable tool for establishing strong and secure bonds with children under the age of three. Unlike passive or aggressive communication, assertiveness allows for clear and respectful expression of needs and emotions, creating an environment of trust and mutual understanding. This type of communication not only facilitates the expression of feelings and needs in young children but also promotes essential skills such as empathy, conflict resolution, and self-affirmation. These skills are fundamental to their integral and healthy development, laying the foundation for positive relationships and robust self-esteem.
Keys to Achieving Good Assertive Communication
Use short sentences and simple words that they can understand. Young children do not have a wide vocabulary, so keep your message direct and clear. Example: A mother explains to her young child how to pick up his toys. Instead of saying, "Put all your toys in their place," she says, "Please put the blocks in the box." This clear and simple approach facilitates the child's understanding and action.
Speak in a calm and gentle tone. A soft tone helps the child feel safe and understood. Example: A father communicates with his daughter who is upset because she cannot play outside. Instead of using a frustrated tone, the father speaks calmly and kindly: "I understand you're sad because you can't go out. Let's play with your dolls inside." This calm tone helps the child feel understood and secure.
Get down to the child's level and establish eye contact. This shows that you are present and attentive to their needs. Example: A teacher kneels to be at eye level with a child who is crying. She maintains eye contact and gently says, "I'm here to help you. Can you tell me what happened?" This eye and body contact shows the child that the teacher is present and attentive to their needs.
Although young children may not always express their feelings with words, it is important to listen attentively. Observe their gestures and facial expressions to better understand their emotions. Example: A father notices that his young son is making faces as if he is about to cry. He sits next to him and says, "I see something is bothering you. Do you want to show me what it is?" The father listens attentively and observes the child's non-verbal cues to better understand his emotions.
Recognize and validate their feelings. Phrases like "I see you are sad" or "I understand you are angry" help them feel understood and learn to identify their emotions. Example: When a girl is upset because her favorite toy broke, her mother says, "I see you're very sad because your toy broke. I understand how you feel; I know it was your favorite." Validating her feelings in this way helps the girl process her emotions healthily.
Whenever possible, give the child limited choices. For example, "Do you want the red toy or the blue one?" This gives them a sense of control and encourages decision-making. Example: A caregiver offers a child the option to choose between two activities: "Do you want to read a book or play with blocks?" This gives the child a sense of control and encourages decision-making.
Praise their efforts and positive behaviors. Reinforcing the positive helps build their self-esteem and encourage desirable behaviors. Example: A child helps set the table for dinner. His mother says, "You did a great job setting the plates! Thank you for your help." This positive reinforcement promotes desirable behaviors and builds the child's self-esteem.
It is important for children to know which behaviors are acceptable and which are not. Explain the rules in a simple and consistent manner, and use logical and age-appropriate consequences. Example: A father sets a clear boundary when his child hits another child. He says, "It's not okay to hit others. If you need something, use your words to ask." Explaining the rules and consequences simply helps the child understand acceptable limits.
Young children learn by observing adults. Demonstrate with your own behavior how you want them to communicate. Example: A father models using "I" statements instead of "you" statements when expressing his feelings. He says, "I feel frustrated when there are toys all over the floor because I like to have the house tidy." This teaches the child to communicate respectfully and effectively.
Children need time to learn and understand. Repeat your messages calmly and consistently, and be patient as they develop their communication skills.
Example:
A mother repeatedly shows her child how to wash his hands correctly. She says, "First we wet our hands, then we use soap, rub well, rinse, and dry." Repeating this process with patience helps the child learn and develop this essential skill.
By applying these keys, you can foster effective and respectful communication with children under three years old, contributing to their overall development and a positive relationship with them. At ABCnMe, we have a team of professionals specializing in early stimulation and assertive communication, dedicated to raising children with strong emotional skills. Our goal is for them to grow into adults with high emotional intelligence.
We understand that the early years of life are vital for emotional and social development. That's why we offer personalized programs that include playful and educational activities designed to foster empathy, self-affirmation, and conflict resolution from an early age.
Our methods are based on scientific research and best practices in child development, ensuring that each child receives the support needed to reach their full potential. Additionally, we work closely with parents, providing them with tools and strategies to strengthen communication and the bond with their children, creating a harmonious and enriching family environment.
We believe that a strong emotional foundation is essential for future success, and we are proud to see our children thrive and develop into confident and emotionally intelligent individuals.